Incompetence
by The Sage of Spirits
Summary: Yuan, you stupid fool, you shouldn't be allowed to watch children.


**_WARNING! READ THIS FIRST!_** Despite being used in a bad light, there are references to alcohol in the fic. If you are uncomfortable with that, please turn back now. It is not my responsibility that specific readers choose to not read/miss this warning, solely that a warning be provided. I have done what I can to make sure that readers pay attention to this warning. Thank you. You may now proceed to read the fic. **_WARNING! READ THIS FIRST!_

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**Incompetence**

Yuan knew this was a bad idea. He still wondered why he had even accepted it. Perhaps it was because he wanted to.

...He immediately dismissed that idea.

Maybe it was because it was his friend, and he wanted to help him.

...He was getting closer this time, at least. But that still did not sound right to him.

Wait, now he remembered. Kratos tricked him by making him sign a written oath while drunk. Not that it took much to get him to do something, but apparently this time, Kratos wanted blackmail. _Stupid Kratos… I would have at least considered it…_ Yuan thought as he rubbed his forehead, making his way up the stairs. _Well, hopefully he'll have some kind of drink here, or at least wine…_ he thought, knocking on the door.

The door opened up, revealing a young woman. "Oh, Yuan, thank you for coming." she said, opening the door wider so Yuan could walk into the apartment.

"Thank you, Anna." he said, running his hand through his hair. Anna closed the door behind him. "My, you're looking very beautiful tonight. This is the first time I've seen your hair in a bun. The bangs were a nice touch, too." he said, kneeling onto one knee. He took her gloved hand and kissed it.

"Oh, Yuan, you don't need to do that." she said, blushing. She then spun around, her dress swirling. "Kratos wanted me to wear this dress for our anniversary. It was my mother's – it's fairly simple, but I loved it regardless. You know, this is the very same dress I wore when I first met him." she said, eyes turning happily distant. Her smile never left her face. "Oh, he was so dashing…" she swooned, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I think you're boring him, Anna." Kratos said from behind her, feeling her arms wrapping around him. "Thanks for coming, Yuan. If we were home we would not need your help. But seeing that our anniversary was during our vacation, we wanted to do something special here. But since we didn't want to leave Lloyd alone, that's why you're here."

"Well, I don't know why you couldn't just ask your-" Yuan said, when he saw Kratos smirking.

"And deny Lloyd time to see his uncle? He wanted you to watch him." Kratos said, turning to Anna. "Anyway, we must be going. Lloyd, come here please." he said. A few minutes later, he saw Lloyd charging toward them, a beaming smile on his face.

"Uncle, I'm so glad you made it!" Lloyd shouted, jumping at Yuan for a hug. Unfortunately, Lloyd crashed into him instead. "Oops, sorry Uncle." he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He ignored Yuan saying something about "not being an uncle to anybody." "Anyway, are you leaving now, Father?" he asked, looking up at Kratos. Kratos nodded his head, lowering himself a bit. "Alright, goodbye, Father." Lloyd said, giving Kratos a hug. Lloyd then turned to Anna, who had a bit of trouble bending down. "Goodbye, Mother."

"Goodbye, Lloyd." Anna said, using Lloyd as support to straighten up. She looked at Yuan with a smile. "Lloyd already had his dinner, so you don't have to feed him." she said, walking to Kratos, who courted her arm into his.

Kratos turned his head to Lloyd. "Now remember, Lloyd, be on your best behavior." he said as he led Anna out the door.

Lloyd ran over to the door, closing it behind them. "So Uncle, you want to see my sword skills?" he said with a slight grin. "I've been improving a lot! Father's been helping me when he has the time. And the knights are as helpful as Father gave them credit for! Though I prefer your or Father's help over theirs – they can be annoying sometimes." Lloyd said with a laugh.

Yuan smiled slightly at Lloyd. "Well, it's nighttime, so we can't just go out and do swordplay. Though Kratos had told me that you're becoming quite a little artist."

Lloyd gasped in shock. "Father told you that?! I told him not to tell anyone!" he said, stomping his foot onto the ground. He winced, remembering where he was. "Whoops… Though I told him not to tell anyone…" he said, looking down onto the floor. "It's something that one of my maids does when she wasn't busy and it looked interesting, so I had her teach me. I can draw, but it has to be quiet."

"Well, Lloyd, why don't you draw me something? I'm sure it would be good." Yuan said, watching Lloyd as he smiled happily, pumping his fist into the air. "But I don't want you trying to make it perfect, either. It would only frustrate you."

"Okay! I'm going to head back into my room for a while. Oh, and Noishe is in there," Lloyd said, pointing to the door across the room, "and the kitchen is that way. I'm going to draw something awesome for you, Uncle!" he said, running into his room and closing the door behind him.

Yuan sighed. "I'm not- Oh, what's the point…" he sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Hey, Altamira is famous for its drinks. Maybe I should see if they have an icebox full of stuff…" Yuan said, a smirk on his face. He entered the kitchen and opened the icebox. "Ah, there's something tasteful!"And this one looks good too." he said, lifting up the bottles of wine and brandy. He smirked to himself. "I don't think Kratos or Anna mind if I have a few sips…"

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"Uncle, I finished the drawing…?" Lloyd said, when he noticed Yuan giggling like a little girl and Noishe out of the room. He was pretty sure that Noishe was supposed to stay in that room… "Uncle, are you okay?"

Yuan raised his arm wobbly. "Oh, Lloyd, good timing, this giant mouse-like… thing came and took the rest of my drink." he said, suddenly lifting himself off the couch, wobbly on his feet. He crept over to the kitchen, but fell half-way through. "Ah my head…" he moaned, deciding to rest right there on the floor.

"Uncle, are you okay?" Lloyd said again, raising his eyebrow. Something was not right with him. He walked over to where Yuan was previously, finding empty bottles of brandy and wine. "Were you drinking? I've seen some of this stuff back at home…" Lloyd ran back over to Yuan, helping him off the ground.

"Oh Lloyd, Lloyd, there's something I have to tell you." Yuan said, his voice sounding strange. "I think Anna's hot." he said, when Lloyd suddenly dropped him onto the ground with a thud, gaping in shock at what Yuan said. Yuan chuckled again. "Oh, that was a nice one, Lloyd." he said, raising himself off the floor. "In fact, I think Kratos is hot too. He's got such big muscles." he continued, almost falling forward onto the coffee table while trying to motion with his hands how big they were.

Lloyd pushed Yuan back up, having to run behind him so that Yuan would not fall on his back. "I think you should lie down, Uncle… I think you've drunk too much…"

"Hah, nonsense! There's no such thing as flying monkeys! Only unicorns can do that!" Yuan said, pointing at a nearby lampshade. Yuan took on step and suddenly fell flat on his face.

Lloyd rubbed his forehead. "I don't know what I should do…" he said, pacing around slightly. "I'll just… go back into my room and hope Uncle calms down before Father and Mother get back…" he said, turning for his room. He opened the door, locking it behind him.

"Oh, come here, you…" Yuan said, crawling toward Noishe. Yuan then started unfastening his cape, making peculiar faces to Noishe. "You know you like this."

"Yuan, what are you doing…?" Kratos said as he came through the door, Anna covering her mouth in shock.

"Oh, Kratos, you have perfect timing! Some giant mouse… thing snuck into the icebox and stole my drink!" he said, getting off the floor only to fall onto it again.

"Where's Lloyd?" Kratos heard the door to Lloyd's room unclick, Lloyd appearing through the door. "Did he get drunk?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"Yes, Father. It must have happened while I was drawing this for Uncle." Lloyd said, holding up the picture of Yuan holding Lloyd on his back. They were smiling happily at each other, enjoying themselves.

"I see. Well then, let me take you to a bar and we'll talk for a bit." Kratos said, walking Yuan outside. "Now stay right there for a moment." he said, watching Yuan fall again. Kratos closed the door behind him for a moment. "Oh, I'll take him to a bar, alright. A bar brawl. I'm going to knock him around so hard…" Kratos said angrily, taking off his jacket. "I'll be back." he said, closing the door behind him.

Anna sighed as she walked to the couch. "Oh… I hope Kratos doesn't hurt him too much, even if he did drink." she said, turning to Lloyd. "You were safe the entire time, right? That's all that really matters."

"Yeah." Lloyd said, lowering his eyes onto the floor. He sighed for a moment before placing the drawing on the table. "At least I learned something from this."

Anna smiled at Lloyd, running her hand through his hair. "And what is that?"

"I'm never going to drink."

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_To anyone left, sorry about that warning, but I was not going to take any chances. Anyway, 'tis another gift fic (hence the length), and it's AU, mainly because there was no way it would work in canon. (First of all, Lloyd's around 10-11 years of age, Anna's around, and they're nobles. How does that fit canon again? Heheh, I'm only teasing.) Though the reason why they're nobles is this: If they were in some place in say, Sylvarant, how would they have the money to go out and do things like this? The answer: They can't. That's why they're nobles._

_Now then, I wanted people to laugh at Yuan's stupidity for getting drunk, but also make them wonder if they really should have laughed or not, so I added the hints of seriousness to it. Well, attempted to, at least. I can't truly predict people's reactions, after all. Anyway, those are the main points I wanted to get across. Oh, and I don't own anything but the fic itself. Review please._


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